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'Immigration. Please show proof of identity and supporting documents'. 'Express lane. Please show proof of family ties to immigration boss, Mary Anne Thompson'. 5 May, 2008

Not all goes to plan for Key in Fiji

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :"I've covered all the Royal tours and this one's been the most difficult to photograph." 17 April 2014

Tremain, Garrick, 1941- :"My! My! Where did you get those big, bright eyes?" "Flashbulbs!!". 8 April 2014

Swallow That

Two policemen count the missing persons list, discounting John Key who is in Hawaii

Hubbard, James, 1949- :'Holiday in NZ, it's a great place'. 27 July 2013

Evans, Malcolm Paul, 1945- :"So tell us Mr. Moon... How come neither you or any of your UN team bothered packing any footy boots?" 6 September 2011

Evans, Malcolm, 1945- :Dear sir, contrary to the assertion that Aucklanders don't care, my wife and I have turned off all electrical devices in our home, except for the burglar alarm, and we have resolved to forgo (sic) hot drinks till the crisis is over... New Zealand Herald, 12 May 2003.

George Bush. "Now don't you go worryin' that pretty little head of your's, Helen... Soon as we finish a little job up here we'll be right on down...So where'd you say this Feegee is?" 21 March, 2007.

Scott, Thomas, 1947- :"People can see now that the GCSB is far too busy eavedropping on Pacific Island leaders..." 24 March 2015

Evans, Malcolm Paul, 1945- :"They have worries about our refugee status... and, from reports from our visits to other Pacific islands, they're concerned at our character!" 21 May 2012